WHO AM I – THE BLINDSPOT
The Mantra: Ko’ham
There is a blindspot preventing us from realizing who we really are,
and until we become free of it we are not really here
in any real sense.
a) The Course in Miracles introduces the issue by pointing out that
The essential Question you continually ask yourself
cannot properly be directed to yourself at all:
You keep asking what it is you are.
This implies that the answer is not only one you know, but is also one
that is up to you to supply. Yet you cannot
perceive yourself correctly.
You have no image to be perceived.
Why don’t you have an image that can be perceived?
What does it imply?
It means that:
whatever self-image of yourself you may have
is bound to be a false one.
Because our culture and society, formal education, our religion if we have one and in most cases our family as well have conditioned us in countless ways to have a false image of ourselves,
to never find out whom we really are because then we would rebel
and they would lose all power over us. They want
obedient sheep, not liberated beings.
b) The Sanskrit term for “Who am I’, Ko’ham,
is only one letter different from the Zen word ko’han, a question
which has no rational, mental answer.
This must mean something.
When Nisargadatta Maharaj was asked by a visitor:
“But what can I do? How can I stop being that I feel that I am?”
His reply was:
As a body, you are in space. As a mind, you are in time.
But are you only a body with a mind inside it?
Have you ever investigated this?
Have you investigated this?
To which extent?
According to Diogenes:
The true person in us is never anyone in particular but like
the limitless sky’s deep blue color is everyone,
everywhere in the world.
Did you ever feel this way?
It remains to be seen when.
Just ask yourself right now:
Who in “me” can perceive the entity
that is looking, seeking?
Did you ask yourself this question right now?
Or just kept reading?
Just keep reading will help, but by itself won’t be enough to bring you to your ultimate Realization
The word “house”, say, relates to an object you can see and the word “peace” to something you can feel, but this little word we use all the time, the ambiguous word “I”,
to what does it actually correspond?
Can “you” perceive who is looking, who is seeking in you?
According to Aldous Huxley,
If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves,it is because
self-knowledge is painful,and we prefer
the pleasures of illusion.
c) The problem is that until we have done a substantial amount of work
of integration on ourselves it is almost impossible to find out who we really are
it is like if the image in the mirror was trying
to know who is reflected in it.
Or also like
the character of a novel tried to discover who is
the writer of the story of his life.
Our culture had educated, actually brainwashed us, to be this or that, a husband or a wife, an employee or a businessman, a conformist, a believer in a religion or system of belief, etc,
covering up who we really are to the point that the person
that we have less contact with of all is often
d) Therefore now a part of you, like in the case of most
although to a lesser extent
is trapped in something like a bottomless hole, the restless phantom of all their unresolved issues from the past which everyone usually attempts to fill with so many superficialities
but none of these parts can ever add up to who you really are: they are all
just masks, working materials for your inner growth.
What else did you think they were?
The Yoga Vashista points out that:
As in looking up to heaven, its blue vault is presented to the sight, beyond which our eyes have not the power to pierce; so in ourinquiry into the nature of soul,
we see no more than the consciousness of ourselves
and nothing more
we see almost only our own unconsciousness
and very little more.
So strangely, more than the dark parts lurking in the unexamined part of our being
what our old “I” fears is what is us is open to the Light, because
it is to some extent aware that first or later
it will dissolve it utterly.
The Blindspot: indeed like a blind man at times feel,
in so vast a darkness within and without lost;
but something in me which has no name smiles
and beyond knowing reveals who I am.