The Key:


The ultimate conundrum is the dichotomy between our true Self

and our surface being. The only solution

is to go beyond our mind at last.


a) Sri Aurobindo introduces the issue by pointing out that:


The whole world aspires for freedom, and yet every creature

is enamored of his own chains. This is the first paradox

and the inextricable knot of our nature.


And of your nature as well.

Hakim Sanai adds that:


A pure spirit are you but a corpse imagine yourself to be,

pure water thinking that it is the pot!

The “pot” represents the body.

Do you still think that you are the inner equivalent of the pot?

You aren’t.

In which sense are you pure water?


The “pot” also means our ego,

character, personality


which will never bring us anywhere because they do not quite exists in the highest sense and their illusion must be dissolved in order to find ourselves.

But in reality,


You have never, not even for an instant

ceased being what you seek.


What is it that you REALLY seek?


How do you know that it is not just yet another CONDITIONING?


b) An indigo child described his own existential conundrum thus:


I don’t know what to do: I feel that if I continue to live on earth

my soul will die, but if I live in my soul

my body will die.

This is the feeling of all sensitive souls at the beginning of the Path.


But our body needs not die when we live in our soul, on the contrary after a period of transition becomes healthier and stronger.


Genkaku asked:


A king’s repast are the starving served but cannot eat;

the king of doctors the sick cures,

why won’t they recover?

Why won’t they recover?

Because they are unable to eat the king’s repast.

Why not?

What does the king’s repast represent?

Vivekananda echoed Genkaku with his:


We are dying of thirst sitting on the banks

of the mightiest river.


We are dying of hunger sitting near heaps of food. Here is

the blissful universe, yet we do not find it.


Why most of us do not find it?

The way that Lalla put it is:


I wore myself out, looking for myself.
No one could have worked harder to break the code.

Absorbed in “Tat Twam Asi” the place of Wine

I found: there to the brim all jars are filled

but no one is there to drink.


In the Gospel of Thomas the Christ seems to say the opposite:


Lord, there are many around the drinking trough,

but there is nothing in the well.


Why is this contradiction only apparent?

In it abides the supreme conundrum.


c) The Sufis felt the conundrum of our immortal, infinite soul lost

in the abysmal human condition with an incredible intensity and expressed it very poetically.

For example Rumi said:


I don’t know if I am non-existence while I exist, but I surely know

that when I am… I am not; and yet only then

I can truly be.


How can we be nonexistence while we exist?

What does it mean that when we are…we are not?

It is a FACT.

Ask yourself:


In which sense I am?


How will you truly become yourself?

There is an even more difficult question:


WHO in you will truly become yourself?


Here the mind breaks, and we have a chance to understand.


d) Even many so called seekers are still trapped into the illusion that the “I”

that they are identified with – their ego, character, personality, which can become enlightened, find the Divine, etc, and this is yet another apparently insoluble conundrum, because


then their striving to find themselves can easily become

the obstacle itself.


Wei Wu Wei adds his own version of the Conundrum:


The other is the self; that which is other the self; this which I am

is neither self nor the other.


Neither self nor the other?

Then WHO?


The Veil:


The conundrum is like a sharp sword

to cut through the Veil.


The Dreamgame:

The Conundrum is the most difficult RIDDLE of the Dreamgame for most because paradoxically to solve it we must first be no more, that is, empty ourselves, let go of everything, stop pretending to be what we aren’t, and above all die to all we have ever been.

Until then we will be like that classical man in the Puranas desperately

seeking everywhere the diamond necklace

which was around his neck.


Do you ever do the equivalent of this?

Are you SURE?


The Devil’s Advocate:

Several so called “spiritual teachers” said that “you cannot find “god” (my client’s opponent) without first knowing who you really are, but you cannot find who you are without first finding him.”

This means that you have been had, but good!

What a joke!


The Khdir:


The conundrums is only apparent, and its solution

is that the mind should really



Words of Power:


I always I see through all the apparent

conundrums of my life.


Living it:

The way that Vijay experienced the Conundrum for the first time came to him through this realization:


What I always thought was myself is but a dream, but although

I no longer believe in it at all somehow

still goes on its own.


Someone said that the leaning tower of Pisa is straight and it is the rest of the world which is crooked.

This is exactly how Vijay used to feel towards the world and everyone else, and because of it many deemed him a bit mad, which didn’t really bother him.


Never forget that if you are on the Path you are really

straight and it is the rest of the world

which is crooked!


The Way:

To solve the Conundrum, to find out who you really are and be fulfilled you must first completely empty yourself of absolutely everything.


To achieve your inner rebirth you must first DIE

to all you have ever been.


The main point is that:


– The more you think you know at the mental level

the more you lose contact with reality.


– The only obstacle between you and the Great Awakening




Adverse forces notwithstanding, there is no other real obstacle and there has never been.


You cannot discover who you are until you find out what you are not,

and stop trying to journey on the Path



How can you be on the Path as NOT yourself?

Try it out, you will be amazed!


Question/Ko’han 1 to 4:

Which is the most intense conundrum of your life?


How did it make you feel?

What did you learn from it?

Question/Ko’han 5:

Another conundrum is that


to learn how to be without desire

we must desire such a state.


How can we get rid of desires without desiring to do so?

There is a way.

Question/Ko’han 6:

Dongshan said that


Only special souls can perceive how a drop merging into the sea

knows only the ocean absorbed in itself.


Do you know the ocean absorbed in yourself?

Question/Ko’han 7:

The Voice of the Silence affirms that


Unless thou hear you cannot see and unless you see

you cannot hear.


Then how?


Kabir has the last word:


When I was, Hari (the Divine) wasn’t and now

that Hari is I am no more.


Ever felt that way?

It is the most wonderful feeling of all.



No, you cannot practice the Conundrum: it practices you!



1) Ask yourself:


while my body was asleep, where was I?


– Look at yourself right now,

see how everything in you which isn’t the Divine’s love and Wisdom, all you used to believe about yourself


was never real, only appeared to.

– Then ask yourself these basic questions:


Which frame of reference shall I use

to discover who I am?


How will I be certain that what I find

is the real thing?


2) Consider these words of Ramana Maharshi:


Our body doesn’t say ‘I’, for in deep sleep it is no more

and then everything else emerges.


Follow His advice:


Enquire with a keen mind whence

this ‘I’ emerges.

3) Meditate on this passage of Simeon the New Theologian:


O totally strange and inexpressible marvel!

Because of my infinite richness a needy one am I; so much I possess and yet to have nothing. Imagine and say: “I am thirsty,” through generous the waters are, ask “who will give me,” for what in abundance I have, and “where will I find,” the One whom each day I see.

How can I ask how to find the One who in me abides and beyond

the world, since completely invisible is He?

He is completely invisible to our eyes of flesh.

Not to our inner vision.




1) These verses from “The Quest”:


But where can then the Understanding be found,

the Seat of Fixity, the vast unbounded spaces

where You dwell in bliss?


Nowadays a conundrum I contemplate

which through a voice in vision came to me

saying that you also had been looking for me

since time began, but find me could not:


never at home was I, having gone out on some search

and never returned, whereabouts unknown…

Will You find me ere the end?

These verses along my way I leave

for You as clues …


2) From the Poems:


The cyclic tropisms ruling the kinesis of our lives down here

to levels of my being raised me that I had previously

but glimpsed from afar: brighter than the sun a Fire I saw then,

with such poignant aliveness by widening circles

of angels surrounded and far too bright, dazzling reflections

blinding me…amongst endless desolate sand dunes

a lone Rock I saw then, like an ultimate Zen ko’han confronting me

and knew that it was the Gate meant for me, only….


the way to the Rock through the Fire lay, and the path

to the Fire far beyond the Rock…


3) This conundrum presented by Bayazid Bastami:


The things we tell of can never be found by seeking,

yet only seekers find it.


How so?

Because as so many Teachers pointed out,


Searching for meaning outside ourselves is like searching

for a droplet of water in the ocean, or like a fish

searching for water




The painter I loved most Salvador Dali was

but how could such a great artist a fascist be?

The ultimate conundrum I deemed it until I saw

how a much greater one my life itself was.




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