AN IMAGINARY DEBATE ABOUT LOVE TROUBLES
An Unknown opens the debate by asking:
Why is there so much suffering in love?
Nisargadatta Maharaj answers him:
All suffering is born of desire.
True love is never frustrated. How can the sense of unity be frustrated? What can be frustrated is the desire for expression. Such desire is of the mind. As with all things mental, frustration is inevitable.
Mother Teresa answer is:
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Shams of Tabriz offers a complementary answer::
All our love’s troubles are caused
only by “I” and “we.
Chamfort adds that for most people love is only:
Love is the exchange of two fantasies
and the contact of two skins.
No, this is not what love is, only what it means to those who don’t know it at all.
Why are lovers continuously fighting, nagging, harassing each other?
And before anyone can reply adds
Because they are not getting what they were expecting to get.
Both are beggars, both are empty.
Are you sometimes inwardly a beggar?
Do you ever feel empty?
Proust is even more negative about it:
Love is a reciprocal torture.
And so is Pierre Corneille:
Love is a tyrant sparing none.
Miguel de Unamuno points out that:
It is sad not to be loved but it is much sadder not to be able to love.
Bill Russell agrees with him:
Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them.
Baldwin presents yet another aspect of it:
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within
Chuck Palahniuk notes that:
No matter how much you love someone, you still want to have you own way.
Ben Hecht agrees:
Love is a hole in the heart.
Theodore Roethke shrugs his shoulders at that and tells him:
Oh well, Love is not love until love’s vulnerable!
Paul Sabatier also thinks so:
Suffering is the true cement of love.
Madonna advises him:
Love is a bird, she needs to fly…Let all the hurt inside of you die!
Antoine de Saint-Exupery points out that:
Love does not cause suffering: what causes it is the sense of ownership, which is love’s opposite.
Mother Teresa offers a way out of love’s pangs:
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Gary Zukav adds that:
Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.
Louise L. Hay agrees with him:
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
And so does Rod McKuen:
Loving is the only sure road out of darkness, the only serum known that cures self-centered-ness.
An Unknown points out that:
Love comes to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though have been betrayed, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt before.
Miguel de Unamuno presents yet another aspect of it:
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
Freud says that:
One is very crazy when in love.
Ambrose Bierce sarcastically agrees with him:
Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Pedro Calderon de la Barca adds that:
Love that is not madness is not love.
Samuel Johnson corrects him:
No, Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
What does this imply?
John Dryden specifies that:
Love works a different way in different minds, the fool it enlightens and the wise it blinds.
Simone de Beauvoir reminds the debaters of something that most always forget:
The word love has by no means the same sense for both sexes, and this is one cause of the serious misunderstandings that divide them.
Kierkegaard sadly adds that:
To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception; it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either in time or in eternity.
Khalil Gibran also sounds quite sad as he agrees:
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
Pearl S. Buck tells him that:
Love dies only when growth stops.
Robert Browning nods his agreement:
Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
And so does Morrie Schwartz:
Without love, we are birds with broken wings.
Do you ever feel like a bird with broken wings?
Thoreau wisely points out that:
There is no remedy for love but to love more.
Nietzsche sternly tells him:
Love is not consolation. It is light!
Bryant H. McGill makes a very important point:
There is no love without forgiveness,
Tom Watson shakes his head at that and objects:
Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sign on as its accomplice
Thornton Wilder wins and closes the debate with:
There is a land of the living and a land of the dead
and the bridge is love, the only survival,
the only meaning.